


Manners, and the Lack Thereof

by ComeAsYouAre



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Crack, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-18 13:05:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3570686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeAsYouAre/pseuds/ComeAsYouAre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Erik makes it clear just how painfully innocent he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Manners, and the Lack Thereof

The Dragonborn stared at her companion. "Could you repeat that?"

Erik, the now self-styled "Slayer", missed the shock in her voice. "I said: So a girl CAN come in her pants. Interesting."

His eyes were riveted to the bandit sneaking a moment to herself. Granted, the sight of a person REALLY enjoying themselves was lovely, but there were some things things that were just… rude. She’d have dragged the boy away if they weren’t tasked with clearing out the place. Finding out just how bad the bandit scout was at their job had not been a part of the plan but. Well. There were worse things to accidently stumble upon.

Erik was STILL staring at the woman in her not-so-private moment of ecstasy, and the Dragonborn resisted the urge to whack him upside his head. Doing so would have alerted the scoundrel, and the rest of the encampment, to their presence. So the reluctant hero settled for grumbling.

"You wanted to go adventuring, so I talked your father into letting you go adventuring."

"And for that you have my eternal gratitude!" Came his heedlessly cheerful reply.

She shot him a withering look. "Just... don't tell your father about this."

"Why not? It's not something to be ashamed about is it? I mean, look at her: she-"

"Erik..." The Dragonborn warned.

"-loved it." Erik looked at her in confusion.

The Dragonborn stared at him for another moment before turning back to scan the camp. "And you wonder why Vilkas hates you."

"Well, yeah."

"Your father never told you about sex, did he?"

"No."

"And he never really let you deal with traders or travelers, much either."

"He says that I'm too honest."

"Yeah. No kidding." She sighed in resignation. "All right. After we clear these bandits out, we're turning this job in to the Companions. Then we're taking the reward money and going straight to the Temple of Dibella so you can get a proper education on sex. After that, we're going to see a friend who'll set you straight on what you can and cannot say to people."

"You have friends that can do that?"

"A few, in fact. The key is finding one who won't kill you." The Dragonborn thought a moment. "I'm thinking Rikke. She can help your martial training along, too."

"Rikke? As in LEGATE Rikke?"

"The very same."

"Isn't she scary?"

"So?" The Dragonborn smirked. "Scared of a little discipline?"

His response was typically Nord. "Not on your life." Erik, to his credit, kept a relatively straight face. The tips of his ears did turn a bit pink, though.

"Good." She hefted her sword and nodded her head towards the bandits. "What say you we get a move on, then?"

"Sounds good to me."

The Dragonborn moved into position as Erik leapt from their hiding place.

 _"Skyrim's for the Nords!"_ He shouted.

It took all her discipline not to face-palm right then and there. Looks like those lessons would have to start sooner rather than later. They were going to start with simple things. Like not shouting implicitly racist battle-cries.


End file.
